私はアンドロイド。

The past few weeks have been like boot camp or something. And I still have...12 weeks to go until the end of the semester? Aish. Again, I'm thinking "am I insane? what have I gotten myself into?" But...lately I feel like I don't care how I am treated, because I can handle anything. I don't mean that in a confident, self-assured, vain way. More in a way that's like a step beyond "that which does not kill me only makes me stronger" into apathy. Maybe I'm just a masochist. But it's amazing what you can do when you have a layer of latex between you & the world. Lately, I forget to eat. Lately, words spill out of my mouth. I think thoughts that I've thought a million times before, a million cold walks alone. I think I might miss cities more than people. Sometimes I miss who I used to be. I miss being naive and irresponsible. I miss feeling things unapologetically. Maybe it's youth I miss. I feel so damn old lately. I don't have time to take pictures, whether to post here or not. I don't even have time to sew a button back on my coat. But I don't think I care.