Valentine's Day

I don't have anyone to spend Valentine's Day with this year, but I'm still pretty happy. It seems like every year, even if I have someone, I'm not with them on Valentine's Day... It's never been a big deal to me, I just like to be remembered. I miss giving out those little paper cards from the drugstore as a kid. You know, the ones with Snoopy, Winnie the Pooh, etc. I really wanted to buy some and pass them out to my Clinical group, but...I thought about Mitch Hedberg's joke about handing someone a flier, like you're saying "Here, you throw this away." How long would anyone hold onto a tiny paper card that someone they barely know gave them? Until they got home? I still remember one that my 5th grade boyfriend gave me that I kept for several years...Man, I miss feeling ways about stuff and junk, or whatever.

Anyway, here's a little candy jar my mom surprised me with. Isn't it cute? It came with some "cupid corn," which is the same as halloween candy corn, but it's pink. And it tastes pink. Like cotton candy or something.

This was my only real Valentine's gift. Cuuuuuute. It even tells you that it's cute.

私はアンドロイド。

The past few weeks have been like boot camp or something. And I still have...12 weeks to go until the end of the semester? Aish. Again, I'm thinking "am I insane? what have I gotten myself into?" But...lately I feel like I don't care how I am treated, because I can handle anything. I don't mean that in a confident, self-assured, vain way. More in a way that's like a step beyond "that which does not kill me only makes me stronger" into apathy. Maybe I'm just a masochist. But it's amazing what you can do when you have a layer of latex between you & the world. Lately, I forget to eat. Lately, words spill out of my mouth. I think thoughts that I've thought a million times before, a million cold walks alone. I think I might miss cities more than people. Sometimes I miss who I used to be. I miss being naive and irresponsible. I miss feeling things unapologetically. Maybe it's youth I miss. I feel so damn old lately. I don't have time to take pictures, whether to post here or not. I don't even have time to sew a button back on my coat. But I don't think I care.